Burlesque!

I first came to Burlesque through a love of vintage.  I have always loved vintage clothing. Well before it was ever fashionable, i was going to college and uni with stockings on under my jeans! I think i was born in the wrong era as i just love all things 40's and 50's.  I collect clothing, home wear and have a passion for garish nylon curtains.  Anyway, there was an event nearby hosting a burlesque cabaret act and because i love vintage glamour we went along.  I jokingly ribbed hubby that he'd be getting his jollys and not much in it for me.  I imagined model like ladies teasing men with perfect tatties i would never possess.  How wrong i was.
   I saw large voluptuous ladies, embracing every curve, Skinny girls with smaller breasts equally as sexy, comedy sketches, musicians, some shows that were ballet like, and most surprising of all, a much higher number of women in the audience than men!   I was in love and have been ever since.
  Recently i began to learn the art of Burlesque myself.  Even after all i'd seen, i was nervous.  I'm a slightly over weight, 37 year old mother of two who really had no business wanting to take her clothes off on a stage.  To say i was nervous was an understatement.  When i arrived at my first class, i found women of all types, all ages and all descriptions.  What did we all have in common?  We were there to embrace our femininity, unlock what it is to feel glamorous and sexy and in my case, to find a little of the old me again.
  You see, when i was young i would go out partying with bright pink hair, stand on the podiums and love the attention.  I loved my life, i lived glamour and femininity, never leaving the house without make up and often heels.  Then i had kids and everything was different.  My kids are awesome and i took on another title.  That of mother.  My boobs were still interesting to hubby, but fifty times more so to my hungry baby and i fed her with pride. I ditched the makeup and heels to home educate both my children and lived my life in a blur of home ed meets and build a bears. (Another two have recently been adopted into the fold.  Sigh) I put on a fair bit of weight and in the process of this, lost a little bit of my essence.  I shout my mother title from the roof tops and adore that i am so lucky to have two crazy, wonderful, unique little guys in my life, but now my youngest is five, i decided its time to get a little 'Me' back. 
  As i read more and more about Burlesque i see some people name calling, i see people using derogatory terms towards performers and its upsetting.  Particularly to the women who put their heart and soul into this.  I've seen terms bandied round recently that allude to women being called posh strippers, slags, tarts etc.  Usually other women are the ones name calling as well it seems.  This is really sad as many of the name callers have never been to a show and seen for themselves what its all about.  Performers aren't there to titillate men (They can go on a thousand websites for free to do that), they are there to show women that they can be sexy, glamorous, amazing and wonderful no matter what size, shape or combination of features they've got.(And maybe a little titillation for good measure)  But most importantly, the performers are there doing performance art with their own bodies in exactly the way they want to do it.  You will see women taking ownership of their femininity and having body confidence in  a world where body shaming is the norm.  If i actually get good enough to perform on stage, i will show my daughter with pride and say to her that being a woman is about pride in yourself, loving yourself and not giving a shit what anyone else has to say about it.  No one else has the right to dull your shine, tell you to starve yourself, say you must look a certain way or behave a certain way.  No one else has that right.  Its high time women could do and behave as they wish without anyone else casting judgement or nasty comments in their direction.
  And so i find myself practising glove removal in my living room this morning, dodging build a bears and lego whilst i try and feel a teensy bit glamorous and sexy! I love my crazy life and i wouldn't have it any other way!

Thoughts on Home Ed

As many of you know, we are a home educated family.  In the UK we are still the minority and often seen as radical, hippy, out there, even trouble makers and unconformists.  Well i thought i'd talk about why we chose this route.
  I grew in a very conformist, middle class, don't rock the boat family.  I never would have thought i would be where i am today, as i planned to be an archiologist and then a forensic scientist.  A mother was never on the cards, i was never a child that played with dolls.  As i got in to my late teens, a series of coincidences led me to meet a lad who was quite alternative and for a few years we lived a rock and roll lifestyle of bands, music, fast food and many excesses.  He introduced me to music i never knew existed and people who were deep thinkers and taught me many things including thinking outside that box and seeing things a little differently. 

Fast forward a few years and i had an 8 year old boy and one on the way.  To say my boy had struggled is an understatement.  To say that he was a square peg in the round hole of education was most definitely an understatement. He was miserable and i began to look online for alternatives.  I had never known anyone who's kids didn't go to school but deep inside i knew there must be something better for us. Then i began reading about home ed, something i thought only happened in the US or deeply religious communities. 
  I won't dwell on how my son faired and what finally pushed us to take the plunge because thats not my story to tell, but as difficult as that period was, i am so so grateful it happened and that we came out the other side as it opened up a whole life changing world for us.  Sometimes, it's true, you have to hit rock bottom to start climbing out of the hole you are in. 
  Fast forward five years to where we are today, and i have a teenager (when did that happen?) that is happy and healthy, and a wonderful five year old girl who makes us laugh so much.  We are part of a happy, thriving community of home educators who we love very much and are personal friends with many of.  Some of these are friends that will last a lifetime.  The people we meet are wonderful free thinkers, people who see the world differently, people who don't conform, artists, poets, parents, writers, creaters, mothers, fathers.  My children mix with friends of all ages, boys who dress like girls, girls who dress like boys, kids who go by names they chose themselves, kids who choose what to wear and how long their hair is, kids with multi coloured hair! Our kids are free spirits and i'm so excited to see how they'll all grow up.  They're gonna be awesome! 
  Do i have moments of "What the fuck am i doing to my kids?" Of course i do.  Every mother knows that feeling.  You are responsible for your childs up bringing and you have such a small amount of time to get it right before they grow into adults.  Thats alot of pressure on anyone, and never more so than a home educator who is taking on 100% of the responsibility for their children.  But it comes down to trust too.  You have to trust your kids will grow in to well rounded adults with such a wide view of the world because of home edding that they can go out there and reach for their dreams. 
  We follow an autonomous education lifestyle meaning we go with the kids interests and hobbies with regards to education.  So although they may not be learning a foreign language at the moment (Unless they want to) like their school going peers do, they are mini experts in computer programming and games design, both read well above their expected age group level (Thank you minecraft), are fit and active and have more 'P.E' lessons a week than any school going child.  P.E in this house takes the form of tree climbing, skating, skateboarding,  parkour, play parks, bike riding, general tom foolery with their mates, all the fun stuff! They can handle money, cook well, yes even my five year old can make a cracking sandwich.  Oh and they love maths!  The life of Fred books are genius, and my kids won't put them down.  My five year old has just started the Dragon Box game which teaches quite advanced Algebra as the levels progress.  
  But the number one benefit to home education is that we are so solid and close as a family.  We have tough days but there's no escaping to school or get out clause for me when they've gone for the day.  The only way to deal with issues in a home ed family is to really deal with it.  We are a group of strong willed people with opinions cohabiting a space together 24/7.  The only way to resolve issues is to truely solve them. We talk, we discuss, we forgive and we learn together.  The kids have very little stress or pressure in their lives, and are free to express opinions, wants, needs without fear of being told to "sit down", "do as your told", "You can't wear that", "You can't use the toilet", "shut up". 
  I am not attacking anyone's choice to send their children to school, home edding isn't for everyone, and to be honest, we really like quiet parks during the week! But for us, its the best decision we ever made, it has allowed our children a freedom that is unusual in this country, we live in harmony and happiness with each other and our lives are all the more rich for it.  My daughter calls our family Team Love.  I'll go with that!

 The day she drew a cat outfit, sat in Mc Donalds and ate dinner with it on, then went rolling down hills at a home ed meet, still dressed as a cat!

 The day we found her sat behind a tent in the showroom of Go Outdoors meditating!

Beautiful glass houses with exotic plants at Temple Newsham.  One of our favourite places.

Spring is coming!

So the signs are here.  Everything is beginning to wake, as we launch head long towards Ostara and the Spring Equinox.  The birds are singing, the creatures are awakening, as are the weeds and my beautiful blue bells.  We took advantage of the lighter evening and stayed out quite late tackling a job we have been putting off, the veg plot.  This year we're not starting our veg from seed and have decided to buy our plants in from a company called Rocket gardens.  We're expecting our first delivery in May so we have to get the beds ready.

 They needed some serious digging so of course we got Youngling involved.  Some of the best parts of life as a home ed family is the chance to learn hands on skills.

 Our compost heap had lots of learning potential.  We found, giant spiders, woodlice, centipedes and a million worms of all shapes.

 Youngling tried out the Hoe and enjoyed smashing up all the big lumps.

 Here she is with a fat juicy worm.

Next she used the Secateurs to cut down some rasberry canes.  We allow both our children to use tools, but always teach safety.
  So looking forward to this year.  Ostara always brings joy to me.  Its a time of new starts (My birthday is at this time), the dead dark earth is springing to life at a furious pace, we even saw our first butterfly today.  Its the promise of warmer days, sunshine and bountiful goodies from the garden.  Our favourites are the many fruits we grow.  We have rasberries, grapes,  strawberries, goosies, currents, rhubarb, apples, and are hoping for our first crops of plums and sloes this year too!  I always feel lighter and happier in general around this time and i can't wait for the fun we'll have in our lovely garden this year.

Tales from the cupboard

We Home educate.  We have done for many years of my sons life and all of my daughters.  There has been so much misinformation on the news and tv lately about home education with words like radicalisation, child abuse and unseen banded about.  I can only speak for myself, my close home ed friends and the hundreds of friends i have met through social media when i say that i know of no home educated kids who fit any of those phrases.  My children are the happiest, fun loving and most definitely well socialised kids i know, hell, we are never in, let alone have time to lock em up under the stairs Harry Potter style!  They have the freedom to choose how they spend their days, they have a say in their lives without it being dictated and micro managed to the Nth degree.  They can choose to exercise the most basic of human needs such as toilet, food and drink, whenever they need it, and for the most part, experience a fun, exciting and stimulating childhood.  I've seen various discussions of late on tv, most notably the discussion on BBC look north, where people with absolutely no idea how home education works, were discussing and showing their disgust at the very idea.  That would be akin to me discussing rugby and stating how disgusting it is on live TV when i don't know the first thing about it!  So here are some wonderful images of my children at their local Forest school This Green Moon being unseen, abused and clearly miserable!!!!

According to youngling these were hay Highlights!

The Curry Formula

I have a simple formula to make a great curry that even those that say they can't cook will have success with.  You could say you can't go wrong:

Any kind of onion (leek, red, white etc.)
 +

garam Massala, turmeric and oil

Fry it all till the onions soften and are covered in spice.  Then:

+

Any veg you like ( great store cupboard clear out recipe)

+

Free range Chicken or quorn

Fry a little to mix up with the spices and brown the meat then:

+

1 x tin of tomatoes (healthy and delicious) and/or 1 x tin of coconut milk (decadent and creamy)

Next ensure there is plenty of liquid and let it simmer away till it thickens and the liquid is much reduced.(If there's loads of liquid then add some dry red lentils to soak up and thicken it)

Then Serve!!!!!!

This was my simple curry for tonight's tea with carrots, broccoli and quorn with coconut milk.

This is great formula for a can't lose curry in a hurry but from here, you can add and add to create a million different flavours.  This makes a very mild curry but adding chillis and chilli powder would add a real kick.  Likewise using only coconut milk and adding fragrant ingredients such as fish sauce and lemon grass gives a thai flavour to the dish.  The longer you simmer the thicker the sauce gets.

  I have stated Free range chicken here.  I feel strongly about always using free range.  I personally would rather opt for quorn than buy none free range.  And if money is tight, you'll be amazed how far you can stretch a single chicken breast by cutting small.  Likewise legs are cheaper and are great in a curry.  if you've ever stood in an actual battery chicken shed as i have, its not an experience you ever forget, but thats for another post.  Anyway i defy even the most ardent meat eater not to enjoy quorn chicken chunks in this recipe.  Its delicious.  Paneer also works well.  Enjoy!

Gratitude v's "be grateful"

Just a short post this morning on something i've been thinking about alot.  I am a big advocate for being grateful but at the same time i was always told growing up "be grateful for what you've got"  These two things appear to say the same thing but infact say very different things.

  When you say the phrase "Be grateful for what you've got" what you're really saying is stop wanting more, be happy with your lot and get on with it.  Get your head out of the clouds and quit dreaming.  Now as a child, i was a real dreamer.  I would stare at the clouds and make out exotic city scapes i was sure i would visit one day, i would draw unicorns and magical places, I was confident i would travel the world and have adventures.  Then as my teens came upon me i heard phrases such as "Be grateful for what you've got", "Grow up", "live in the real world", "you're living in a dream world" (Said with scorn). I think all of these things really affected me, they stopped me pursuing my dreams, stopped me wanting more.  I certainly for a while tried my hardest to be grateful for what i've got.  But as i've grown older, i realise that to be grateful is a wonderful thing, but never, ever settle for less, always strive for more, to make your life better.  In the words of Hal Elrod, i want a 'level ten life'.  I will never tell my children to accept their lot.  I will tell them to always be grateful for what they have but also strive for more. They deserve the best their life can give them and they should always work towards that.  Little steps every day.

  As i said before i am a great advocate for gratitude, so i wanted to say a final note on my daily gratitude rituals.  I keep a journal, every day i write in it 10 things i am grateful for today.  This helps me so much to appreciate the good things in my life, especially on the difficult rubbishy days.  Its like a tonic on those days.  I honestly believe what you think you attract and if i start my day thinking "I've got loads to do", "Nothing ever gets done", "I have no money", "I'm crap at everything", those thoughts will be with me all day long dragging me down.  Maybe this week is tight and i have very little spare cash.  Dwelling on it is not going to change that fact and will only make me feel worse.  Instead i choose to think of something else entirely like how nice the weather is, how great my health is, how i'm losing weight and slowly become a happy, healthier me.  So i do my gratitude journal every day at the start of the day.  Then every evening i use my gratitude stone.  Its a little heart shaped rock that i got from a national trust gift shop.  It has the word 'believe' on it.  Just a tourist gift really.  But i hold it each night before bed and think of one great thing i did today.  I need the physical stone there to remind me to do it but its not really important.  the important thing is to find something awesome that happened that day and say thanks for it.

Being grateful is so so important, but always strive for more!

Scared of the Jersey? Crochet instead!

Ok so if i'm gonna make all my clothes this year i really need to get a handle on jersey, that easy to wear t shirt material.  But i'm scared!  I have no overlocker and no idea how to sew it on a regular machine.  I bought an overlocking foot off ebay that i discovered i didn't need, and then had to order special needles.  They came so quickly i was almost disappointed since i was trying to avoid sewing the thing!  What am i sewing? Well i purchased some beautiful gold and grey jersey and the plan is to make a super drapey kimono with it.

 

Its absolutely gorgeous but i came un stuck  from the get go.  Who knew cutting jersey with fabric scissors was so hard?  Anyway i have a semblance of a kimono cut out.  I have the needles, and the correct foot.  So what to do now?  Ignore it all and crochet!