I grew in a very conformist, middle class, don't rock the boat family. I never would have thought i would be where i am today, as i planned to be an archiologist and then a forensic scientist. A mother was never on the cards, i was never a child that played with dolls. As i got in to my late teens, a series of coincidences led me to meet a lad who was quite alternative and for a few years we lived a rock and roll lifestyle of bands, music, fast food and many excesses. He introduced me to music i never knew existed and people who were deep thinkers and taught me many things including thinking outside that box and seeing things a little differently.
Fast forward a few years and i had an 8 year old boy and one on the way. To say my boy had struggled is an understatement. To say that he was a square peg in the round hole of education was most definitely an understatement. He was miserable and i began to look online for alternatives. I had never known anyone who's kids didn't go to school but deep inside i knew there must be something better for us. Then i began reading about home ed, something i thought only happened in the US or deeply religious communities.
I won't dwell on how my son faired and what finally pushed us to take the plunge because thats not my story to tell, but as difficult as that period was, i am so so grateful it happened and that we came out the other side as it opened up a whole life changing world for us. Sometimes, it's true, you have to hit rock bottom to start climbing out of the hole you are in.
Fast forward five years to where we are today, and i have a teenager (when did that happen?) that is happy and healthy, and a wonderful five year old girl who makes us laugh so much. We are part of a happy, thriving community of home educators who we love very much and are personal friends with many of. Some of these are friends that will last a lifetime. The people we meet are wonderful free thinkers, people who see the world differently, people who don't conform, artists, poets, parents, writers, creaters, mothers, fathers. My children mix with friends of all ages, boys who dress like girls, girls who dress like boys, kids who go by names they chose themselves, kids who choose what to wear and how long their hair is, kids with multi coloured hair! Our kids are free spirits and i'm so excited to see how they'll all grow up. They're gonna be awesome!
Do i have moments of "What the fuck am i doing to my kids?" Of course i do. Every mother knows that feeling. You are responsible for your childs up bringing and you have such a small amount of time to get it right before they grow into adults. Thats alot of pressure on anyone, and never more so than a home educator who is taking on 100% of the responsibility for their children. But it comes down to trust too. You have to trust your kids will grow in to well rounded adults with such a wide view of the world because of home edding that they can go out there and reach for their dreams.
We follow an autonomous education lifestyle meaning we go with the kids interests and hobbies with regards to education. So although they may not be learning a foreign language at the moment (Unless they want to) like their school going peers do, they are mini experts in computer programming and games design, both read well above their expected age group level (Thank you minecraft), are fit and active and have more 'P.E' lessons a week than any school going child. P.E in this house takes the form of tree climbing, skating, skateboarding, parkour, play parks, bike riding, general tom foolery with their mates, all the fun stuff! They can handle money, cook well, yes even my five year old can make a cracking sandwich. Oh and they love maths! The life of Fred books are genius, and my kids won't put them down. My five year old has just started the Dragon Box game which teaches quite advanced Algebra as the levels progress.
But the number one benefit to home education is that we are so solid and close as a family. We have tough days but there's no escaping to school or get out clause for me when they've gone for the day. The only way to deal with issues in a home ed family is to really deal with it. We are a group of strong willed people with opinions cohabiting a space together 24/7. The only way to resolve issues is to truely solve them. We talk, we discuss, we forgive and we learn together. The kids have very little stress or pressure in their lives, and are free to express opinions, wants, needs without fear of being told to "sit down", "do as your told", "You can't wear that", "You can't use the toilet", "shut up".
I am not attacking anyone's choice to send their children to school, home edding isn't for everyone, and to be honest, we really like quiet parks during the week! But for us, its the best decision we ever made, it has allowed our children a freedom that is unusual in this country, we live in harmony and happiness with each other and our lives are all the more rich for it. My daughter calls our family Team Love. I'll go with that!
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