It's that time again. January rolls around, and i promise myself i will do better in a million different ways. There is one area in particular though, that causes me stress and angst the whole year through. That is keeping house. I am a brilliant mother in many ways, i home educate my kids and give alot of my time to them, i have seemingly endless patience (except when i don't), i can cook pretty good, but keep a tidy house? Its like i was born with something missing or lacking. I collect stuff. I have so much stuff. My partner is a collector too. He inherited a ton of 'stuff' when his parents sadly passed away. On top of that, i cannot seem to fathom how to tidy it all, keep it tidy and keep a clean home. I find myself making excuses to visitors and warning them before they arrive that we are not tidy. I find myself wanting to go out all the time because i can't relax at home surrounded by 'stuff'. I can't do this anymore. It needs to end. This year will be the year i learn how to tidy.
So i bought myself "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying" by Marie Kondo (Konmari). There's been alot of buzz around this book and people are saying its changed their lives. Ok let me be honest, i bought the book last summer but promptly lost it under a pile of 'Stuff'. Oh the irony. So i dug out my copy a few days ago and began to read. I put it down again several times though, because frankly i'm scared! I am actually scared that if i read this book i will have to start actually doing this whole tidying thing. I am scared to chuck stuff out, i am scared of being organised and being in control. I think this is because of my mother.
My mother is a brilliant house keeper to the point of obsession. Our house was so clean you could eat off the floor, and that was with several pets around. Growing up, i would often experience her tidying up around me. If i left the butter knife and turned my back, it was gone! I grew to resent the cleaning. I have very few memories of actually playing with mum because she was always tidying. Always. I spent alot of time in my bedroom reading alone. I loved it but i also resented the tidying. I'm sure if she reads this, she'll beg to differ. I'm confident she did do stuff with us but all i remember is the tidying, washing, house cleaning, and decorating. I think now that part of my aversion to keeping house stems from this. I don't want anything to do with house keeping. I hate it. So what now?
With that in mind i am plowing through the book. Actually forcing myself to read. I want control of my house back and i'm ready to do just about anything to get it. I am determined. Maybe i wasn't ready to examine my root issues with tidying last summer but now is the time. I am geared up and ready to go. Her philosophy is to take every item in your house of a certain catagory and pile it all in one place starting with clothes. So every item of clothing in your entire house goes on the living room floor. There are reasons for doing it this way which are explained in the book, but the core idea is you only keep the items that spark joy. So you take each item individually and ask yourself if it sparks joy in you. If not its got to go. You move on to different catagories around your house right down to books, toys and furniture. Konmari promises that by the end of it, you will only need to tidy twice a year! Twice a year!!!!!
As i said before i am a collector. Myself and my partner both have quite alot of sentimental items, and i mean alot. These will be the most difficult to apply the method to. I think i will find books particularly challenging. We have a small library worth of books and that is no exaggeration. I have tried to cull the books before and usually manage one or two. But i'm going to be brave. Using the Konmari method i will not think about what i want to get rid of but rather what really makes me happy, and if they don't make the cut, they don't stay.
Already i'm also starting to think about applying the Konmari method to others areas in my life as well. What am i doing and where am i in my life right now that sparks joy? The house i live in was bought as the most functional place we could afford at the time for our needs. But does it spark joy? Does my hobbies and free time activities spark joy? Does my life as i live it right now spark joy in me? These are big questions that i can't answer fully just yet but i think aiming to spark joy inside yourself in everything you do is possibly the best and most fulfilling way to live. Why would anyone settle for anything less?
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